i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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