so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
