I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize