i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
