She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
