I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
