we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
