Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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