i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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