Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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