We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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