What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
