Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
