So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He felt like a one man threesome
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
