At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
