so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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