we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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