States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
