I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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