Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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