omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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