Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
