I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize