Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
