Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
