There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
