I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Randomize
