glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
