would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
