Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
