Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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