She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
