so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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