omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
