drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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