I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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