Plan B is the new Plan A
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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