I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
someone owes me an orgasm
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
