Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
