oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
