Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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