I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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