Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
