mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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