Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
