Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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