You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
