i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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