Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
