Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
