Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
