I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
