we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
