Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
