so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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