I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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