took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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