There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
