I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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