I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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