we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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