Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
